The Here & Now !!!

Free to be, Me!

As I have written multiple times thru out my blog, I have been on a bit of a self-discovery mission. It’s been a pretty long week for me, I’ve really been struggling with my identity. As I’m sure many of us do at some point in our life. I did something completely out of character for myself and I’ve seemed to have ruffled a couple feathers along the way. But this time I did something that I am proud of despite other.

For some reason when my anxiety is at my highest, my hair will begin to tangle to the point that it takes forever to untangle. Well, the last yr to defeat the tangles I decided to get a bob cut, it looked cute. As it grew out though I found myself with a million bobby pins holding the little pieces down. I released I just really enjoy having my hair long, layered and angled.

Well in order to accomplish this, my inner creative side grouped together with my bossy who cares personality. Before I knew it, mid lunch hour I deemed it enough is enough and got an undercut. At the time it seemed like it would fix a lot of my hair problems. I knew the idea would not be accepted once I got home and my family saw but against the odds, I did it anyway.

You see I know I have a lot of obligations. I’ve spent my whole life doing everything in my power to push myself aside to oblige them all. At this point down the road, almost 33. I have no clue” why “in my head, I think it’s acceptable for everyone else to do whatever they want and I sit around and suffer. So world here is Suzan Riley your once straight-laced lady with an undercut. So ridiculous a simple haircut can ultimately deem me no longer straight-laced but that is what it is in the world. People and their standards. I think I can be both straight-laced and my own person though. To be cute and creative I added a little design as well and that people are exactly what flawed them all.

The whole concept kind of makes me giggle a bit. It is sad that life makes us feel so overwhelmed by something so silly and petty.

I got responses about it like:

Have you lost your mind?

Is this you, going thru a mid-life crisis?

I don’t even know who you are anymore!

Seriously, WTF!!!

All of which would normally make me feel insecure. Like I went and did something horrific. This time was different because honestly, I’ve always been a bit of an odd duck. I like what I like and I do what I have to and live the way that is acceptable but I like to be creative and different that’s what makes me, me. For so long I really forgot that about myself. Somehow under all the stress and ridicule of my what people call my ridiculous ways. I have become such a bore.

Well, the hair is gone and so is my need for acceptance. It seems I’ve met a new thresh hold of my journey and I am happy to say I really feel like myself for once. My sporadic fun side is just getting started and that’s ok. My undercut is just what it is my peace of mind with a sliver of creativity. When my hair is down it is not noticeable and when it is up the whole world can see I am who I am and I’m okay with that. If someone else isn’t that’s their problem, not mine. To each their own.


Me writing this does not mean others should go out n shave a piece of their hair off. It is just me saying to the readers. “Don’t be afraid to be you.” Maybe you have something different you have to do to bring you peace or happiness but are embarrassed or scared. As long as it will not hurt you or someone else, it is safe and its something you want, get after it! It is your life to live and if you’re over 18, there is not a person that can say crap about it. I still have to remain conservative due to work. So when I decided on the undercut I took that into consideration and kept my hair long enough to cover it so I could look professional. Find your acceptance level to meet your qualifications and no one else.

Good Luck on your own self-adventures and thanks for reading

My Crazy Beautiful Blogs. Xoxo


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